Vow of Silence
“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear”
I am an extrovert, I love being around people and I love to talk….. a LOT. (Just ask my husband, LOL). Being on this COVID lockdown for weeks has been a real challenge for me, but it has also been a time of huge growth and enlightenment.
In my business, I rely heavily on my ability to listen to others. When I noticed myself becoming impatient and frustrated with the uncertainty of things moving forward, I realized it was time for a “reboot.” I needed to shift the way I was viewing my world and my circumstances and I needed this shift to be impactful. I decided that I would take a 24 hour “vow of silence” and keep a journal of my feelings. There would be no conversation, no cellphone, no social media and no laptop. (like I said, it had to be impactful)
My mom has dementia, but she always remembers to call me on the FaceBook Portal every morning at 10:00 am...... so I chose to begin my vow of silence after that call.
The first few hours weren’t so bad. My husband, Edward, had been working from home during the lockdown so our morning routine was usually a quiet one. This time, however, instead of being on my laptop, I chose to meditate longer and read a few more chapters in a book. Before lunch, we had been going outside for our 2 mile run/walk, but this time I did not have my cellphone with me – and guess what……. I could hear the birds chirping and the breeze blowing through the leaves in the trees. It was amazing.
We came back inside and ate our lunch in silence.... but I think we smiled at one another more than usual.
After lunch I went through a few files to get organized for a project I was working on. Funny how I had been dreading this before, but now it seemed to almost give me a sense of accomplishment.
The weather was sunny and in the 70s so I took my blanket, book and journal outside and sat alone for a few hours. I was re-reading a book by Ernest Holmes but this time so many new things seemed to "leap out" at me from those same pages. Could it be that I was “hearing” them differently?
When I came back indoors, Edward asked if I had enjoyed myself. I nodded with a smile. He smiled back – almost like he was proud of me. Next, I did an hour of yoga, took a shower and cleansed my reiki crystals in salt water. I had a distance healing scheduled on the calendar for a client the next day so I wanted to make sure things were in order. The little things.
At 5:00 sharp I poured our happy hour drinks as usual, but this time there would be no conversation from my end. Instead, I nodded to my husband to “go ahead” and speak. He began talking about a few things, slowly at first and then building momentum. It was SUCH A JOY to sit and listen…. really listen, without thinking ahead about how I would interject with my thoughts or opinions.
I made dinner while he watched the news and we ate, once again, in silence. But this time we were actually flirting with our eyes. (maybe he was enjoying this silence thing too much – LOL)
Strangely, the day seemed to last longer than normal..... but in a good way. As I sat painting at my easel, I felt so relaxed, full of joy. On a spiritual level I would say I could “feel” that my energy level was at an all-time high. It felt wonderful.
We watched a movie that evening and this time I sat and watched it in silence. (I am usually one to make multiple comments or try to re-write the script) I’m sure my husband was enjoying the “new me."
That evening I was laying in bed, thinking of the day's moments I was able to enjoy without distractions. I felt happy. I felt almost "accomplished".
The next morning we had our beloved coffee time and I nodded at Edward to talk again. I can be quite the “conversation hog” sometimes so I wanted to make sure he took advantage of these last moments of silence. He chatted for a while before sharing that he was proud of me for sticking to my vow. I was proud of myself too!
It was almost 10:00 am – time for my mom’s call – so I went to our bedroom, sat on my meditation blanket and enjoyed these last moments of silence alone with my inner voice. I felt calm, relaxed…..peaceful. I also felt an enormous amount of clarity in regards to some of the decisions I had been struggling with just the day before.
In closing, I highly recommend taking time not only for yourself but WITH yourself. It was not only empowering, but it had a healing power I could not have foreseen.
“To hear one must be silent”
Ursula K. Leguin
With love and light,